tried this, hated it

I’ve decided that email has my heart (I knew this from 2018 when I created an email marketing bundle that made me over £700 at Christmas and it blew my tiny mind that it was possible), but since then I’ve built a business, shut it down, got a job, nearly had a breakdown, started another business and then woke up this morning. (I can assure you the job and breakdown are almost entirely unrelated).

The reason I love email? It’s a bit thrilling to send one and see who opens it up. It’s amazing getting replies (hint: always reply, it’s coming straight to me and I don’t have a team). I can write emails and not wear make up, I can write emails and really think about what I want to say (when I am on socials it’s all a bit messy isn’t it).

When I write an email I can truly say what I want to say. And I have a lot to say, so it makes sense to just…send a few more emails.

I met my friend (B)* for coffee on Sunday and we were talking about a mutual friend (L)* who always seems to be a bit down. Can’t quite put a finger on it but my B said “she never seems to be happy does she?”. And she was correct. L always is striving for something, but it never quite matches up to her expectations when she gets there. I suggested that maybe it was because L was a little younger than us (about 5 years, not a lot but enough) and she hasn’t gone through the //big life realisations// that we both had. (B & I are confessed self development junkies).

Truth be told, last Christmas I realised that I was kinda done being someone who thought so highly of myself that nothing was ever good enough. I was done believing the worst in people, that they only wanted “stuff” from me, and didn’t want to know me for me. It has been such a freeing decision. I subscribe to the rule of “good for you same for me” now. Before if someone had “copied” an idea of mine, I would stew on it and write vaguely threatening posts on Facebook (yawn) alluding to the fact that they weren’t original. Or I’d try to be clever on Instagram, blocking anyone who might disagree with my very narrow view point, or anyone who might even suggest “actually, have you thought about this situation this way”.

Turns out, I was ensconced in this very tiny part of the internet where no one speaks up when something is wrong and no one dares to have reasoned debates. It was a disaster of my own making, and I took a step back from the spaces that no longer serve me.

And this week I was reminded why I don’t really love Facebook groups, either running or being part of them. You can accidentally do things that cause repercussions all over the place, and to be honest it caused a bit of an anxiety flare in me; but I went back to “this isn’t real life and you don’t have to beat yourself up about things you have no control over”.

Anyway all this to say – I am a happier, kinder, more at peace person that I was even three months ago. And that’s all because I started to believe that people act mainly with good intentions, even if they are sometimes misinformed, and you have to believe that because if you don’t, what damage is that causing that to you in the long term?

Wishing you a wonderful week

Speak soon


ps. How do you feel about Facebook groups for communities? I want a place to hang out buttttttt I really hate them and Whatsapp is ok but it’s not quite hitting the spot – where would you hang out given the choice? Say hypothetically if I were to have a place we could hang?

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