no winners just two big losers

I truly thought Ben and I were out of wedding seasons. We got married six years ago and were basically the last ones, save for maybe one or two (which c**id interfered with cheers virus). Anyway, circumstances have happened and Saturday saw us whooping it up (RHOC anyone?) at our friends Luke* & Stephen*’s wedding. And it was like I had never seen people before.

From the get go I was sharing without a care in the world the details of what is going down in our lives, inviting people over at Christmas, telling Ben to build bridges where he needed to.

Thing with Ben is he is the most laid back person I know; and that’s saying something because his brother’s are horizontal. But when someone upsets him, that’s it. They just aren’t in our lives anymore. And this happened with one of his oldest friends about six months before we got married.

Every friend event we’ve been to since that time has had us there and had this friend there – let’s call her Laura*. Laura is married (now) to Pete*, they got married last year I think. But we just don’t speak, whenever we see them, because Ben got sick of being made to feel bad he hadn’t made plans with her – Ben doesn’t make plans with anyone – and Laura didn’t understand why she wasn’t a priority for Ben anymore.

There are no winners in this story by the way, just two big losers.

Over the six years, the lore and fable has been that I was sick of Laura and her ways and told Ben we weren’t going to be friends anymore, and every chance I’ve had I have shouted how it was Ben’s choice and not mine, nothing to do with me. But no one really ever believed me until Ben started speaking up and agreeing that indeed it was him who had decided she wouldnt be invited to our wedding and everything spiralled from there.

Anyway, on Saturday at our friends’ wedding with our friends who we hadnt seen for ages, I knew both Laura and side quest for Zoë – Katie who had unfriended me on Facebook years ago and I had no idea why – were going to be there. And full of red wine, roast beef and fuzzy friendly warmth, I announced to Ben that we needed to make amends, life was too short, yada yadaa.

And we both did. Will we be best friends in each other’s pockets from now on? No. But it will make things so much easier when there is a function on now and we see each other across the room.

No feud has to last forever. Is your stubborness creating rifts where there could be freedom? I know ours was. But let this also be a cautionary tale to you as well – there are always three sides to a story, my side, your side and the truth. Let’s not be too quick to make assumptions as to why something has or hasn’t happened.

The week ahead is a funny one for me. We have some health stuff going on in the family, but it’s like I could predict the future because my client facing bits are on the light side this week. That being said, my Fluff Free Fix has proven to be very popular! I have 2 spots left till the end of November, if you would like one then click here for the info.

All that whilst writing my Conquer Your Market workshop and trying to think of the very best Black Friday offer I can. Gotta keep busy I guess?

My coach wants me to think of more top of funnel content to create – can I crowdsource ideas? What do you really want free help with this month?

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