I’m going to be honest with you my capacity for BS is waning as my years increase.

You know there’s a list of “life admin” that you have to do? But it’s such a chore to complete. One of these things for me was getting a better broadband deal, and I needed to do this six months ago but y’know, LIFE HAPPENS.

So this week I rang to cancel with Virgin Media and book a new provider.

After a quick looksie online, I discovered that I needed to call to cancel. Well, number one sunshine, I don’t want to call. It is too much work. This is how they get you. But call I did.

I told them the better deal I’d got with Sky, and they offered me the following:

– An extra TV box/recorder thing (we only have 1 TV, so redundant)

– Faster broadband (TBH, my broadband speed doesn’t matter as long as it works, I live in an urban area, it’s gonna be quick whatever)

– Access to all the channels Sky were offering

– A cheaper home phone line (but I don’t even have a home phone)

The list goes on. All this for £4 more than I could get online with Sky. On the face of it, it is a good deal. But all but one of the things he offered me for “free” were things I had no need for, so for me they had no value.

Fast forward four days.

Sky offered everything for £30 less than we are already paying so happy days! Life admin…✔️. Then I get a call, which I answer coz you know, self employed life means answering the phone when you don’t know the number.

It’s the Virgin Media “Outbound Retentions Team”.

“Do you have five minutes to talk about your recent disconnection request?”

Why yes Peter, I do. I won’t give you the whole story but it went something like this…

Peter: “So, from what I can see you wanted to go to Sky because you wanted everything in one place? We could actually offer you everything, with faster broadband and an extra box for less than Sky offered you”

Z: “Yes, I know, but I didn’t want the extras that you were offering they have no relevance to me, I just wanted the best deal for my money”

P: (ignoring what I said) “You see, the Sky broadband is actually through your phone line…(expecting me to know what this means)…and Sky just can’t offer you the level of broadband speed that we can

Z: “…..”

( Dear reader, notice that I haven’t once mentioned the speed of my broadband to this or any other rep)

Z: “I really don’t care about the speed, I just wanted everything in one place and when I called they actually offered me the package I wanted for £20 less than your team did”

P: “But with us, you get access to Amazon Prime” (another thing I hadn’t mentioned was important to me). “So, yeah, I can offer you everything you want for another £3 than your current Sky deal”

Z: “Why did you quote me £23 more last week then? You’re a bit late, I’ll be honest I’m not switching again so thanks for your call but it’s pointless”

P: “Our inbound retentions team can’t offer this deal to you, only my team has the authorisation to do this”

Z: “Again, I cancelled 4 days ago, you’re really too late”

P: “But…thing is I know you can cancel within 14 days”

Z: “I won’t be cancelling, thank you for your call”

P: “Just to reiterate, the speed you get with us…”

Aaaaand that was when I hung up the phone. He was trying to win back business that had been lost four days ago, using tactics and things that I didn’t even want and therefore had no value to me.

So this is where you come in.

I’ve made a video for you to watch (click here); and in it, I am asking you what you want to know from me because I don’t want to keep sending you things if they aren’t of use or relevance to you.

And while we’re at it, why not set aside an hour or two this week to really look at what you are putting out into the business world, and if something isn’t selling is it because actually, it’s not what people wanted in the first place?

And if you watch to the end of the vid, I have a little something for those who do want to work with me when they get in touch.

Hope to speak soon!